Crone's Corner

Crone Stories

"What is a crone?" we are often asked. There are many definitions: A woman of age, wisdom and power. A woman 50 years of age or older. Margaret Mead described this stage as a woman with PMZ—post menopausal zest—full of energy, ready to contribute her gift to the larger community. Jungian psychologist Marian Woodman describes a crone as a woman of great love and compassion who has come to a crossroads.

More and more 50+ women in the United States and in other cultures are awakening to their new-found energy and potential, while at the same time having to deal with attitudes of ageism and sexism of the society in which they live. A number of the women drawn to participate in Capacitar workshops are women of this description, yearning for knowledge and support in their awakening. Often they talk about moving into new territory where they must trust their own inner guidance. The legacy of their mothers, grandmothers, and ancestors no longer fits. They must discover whole new ways of being and becoming in their later years.

In Africa there is a beautiful symbol of the Tree of Life. Each generation is carved in wood standing on the backs of former generations. Like members of the Tree of Life we stand on our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers calling on their wisdom that has brought us to where we are now, recognizing, too, the limitations of their visions. In our present situation, we look to Nature, each other and the beings of the present to guide us. And we grapple toward the future listening deeply to the inner wisdom of our body/mind/spirit. We have no other resource. We know that the transformative forces of a new cosmology are moving us forward in faith. And our small part is to do only what we can uniquely do: giving the gift of ourselves in this moment of history, recognizing that each choice, each change in ourselves, each action affects the entire world. Zalman Schachter-Shalomi said, "Elderhood is a time of unparalleled inner growth having evolutionary significance in this era of world-wide cultural transformation. It is a call from the future, a journey for the health and survival of our ailing planet Earth."

This corner of the webpage is dedicated to articles, reflections and experiences to encourage this process of inner growth and transformation for individuals and groups. May the material presented here serve as a tool and a resource for personal growth, for the formation of crone groups, and for the celebration of crones.

The Croning Ritual

A wonderful way to celebrate the life of a woman as she reaches age 55+ is with a croning ceremony, led by a group of friends. There are many elements of the croning celebration that can be developed by friends and family. The following simple formula is given to inspire your own creativity.

Ritual Elements

Invocation - a calling upon the sacred to be present. This can take the form of a song, a formal prayer, or a gesture such as lighting a candle or burning incense. The invocation creates the field of energy or casts the circle into which all are drawn.

Action of the Ritual deals with the reason why the community is gathered together, or why the ritual is being done. This part may include any or all of the following:

Invitation into the circle of the woman who is called to be a crone

Weaving of a crown of herbs by friends, and the crowning of the woman

Telling of stories of the life of the person

Readings from sacred texts, poems, or writings of group members

Music and songs

A Dance through the birth canal of life (Pairs of friends form canal with hands joined like "London Bridges" while the crone moves beneath the joined hands)

Anointing of the woman with special oil

Presentation to the woman of the symbols of the crone: seeds, salty water, earth, lighted candle, a stole or symbolic piece of clothing, a symbolic ring

Commitment of the Crone

Prayers of Petition and Blessing by the group of friends through gestures or words

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Concluding Action or Gesture to close the sacred space

A dance, song, group embrace

A dance of the spiral of life is a wonderful way to conclude the celebration and lead the group to a celebrating meal.

Celebratory Meal or Potluck in celebration of the Crone

Elements to include in the ritual may be: water, fire, candles, incense, flowers, food, salt, oil, sound, such as bells, gong or rain stick.

Prayers For The Crone

Eternal Wisdom, source of our being and center of all our longing, in you our sister has lived to a strong age: a woman of dignity and wit, in loving insight now a blessed crone. May the phase into which she has entered bear the marks of your spirit. May she ever be borne up by the fierce and tender love of friends and by You, most intimate friend; and clothed in your light, grow in grace as she advances in years; for your love's sake.
  —Amen!Gail Ricciuti, Life Prayers

Crone Rituals And Stories

Weaving the Threads of Our Lives
Carol Bialock, RSCJ

It's November and we're gathered for our crone ritual. And one of the first to share spoke of a time in her life of loose threads, when a ministry she loved deeply was terminated and she had to just trust that all things work together for good, somehow. Then she had a dream: she was walking in a lush green forest, full of tall trees. She sensed an opening ahead, a meadow, and in a corner of the meadow a tent, where three very old men were knitting sweaters. She watched one of the old men intently, and was amazed to see that he had no pattern. "How do you do it?" she asked. "Oh, I have a pattern; it's in that ancient book enthroned in the middle of the meadow, which is filled with religious poems. We pay and reflect on an ancient poem, and that gives us the pattern for a sweater. Would you like to have one?" "Oh, yes!" the woman cried, though she thought in her heart that such a sweater must be very costly. The old man then added, "It's free. I will make one just for you." When she woke she knew there was a weaving together inside of her that would end up being something beautiful. The situation in her life was the same, but her outlook had been transformed.

Just before this sharing the meeting had opened as one by one we extended a hand to the person next to us, saying "I am (name) and I am a weaver when… "I set appropriate boundaries in my life"…"think big"… "take on new roles as old ones fall away"… "heal myself"… "write poetry"… "take care of myself", etc. Then a reading: "Women have woven yarn into tapestries…grass into baskets… .threads into clothing…words into poetry…friends into families…voices into song…vines into shelter…prayer into action. The colors of the threads are blood, sweat, perseverance, tears, struggle, hope." In the center, as we shared, was an altar with a Native American woman weaving, and looking toward the light of a beautiful candle. And our sharing cast a special light among us and around us.

At the end we passed blue, green and yellow strands of yarn around the circle, which each woman wrapped around her wrist until we were woven together. The leader opened the circle by cutting the yarn between each woman. One could then braid her part of the three strands into a bracelet or symbol of what we had experienced.

A Crone's Ritual of Thanksgiving

Fall is the time of harvest, of thanksgiving for the wisdom and love learned through life. Fall is the season of the Crone who joyfully savors the fruitfulness of life, yet with a sense of poignancy, compassion and letting go. Jungian psychologist Marian Woodman gives us this description of the Crone:

The Crone is a woman who has faced crossroads in her life and has chosen to live with acceptance and love, rather than closing down with resentment. She has expanded into life, losing the ego drive, opening to the full energy of the unconscious. She is a surrendered instrument, living out of her soul. She is an instrument through which the god and goddess energy moves. She comes from love rather than ego. The dark side of the Crone is power, great intuitive power that can control other people. The other side of the Crone is love, love flowing through her as an immense healing presence. The Crone has finely developed masculine and feminine sides, as well as a highly developed sense of discrimination and discernment in her capacity to act. The Crone is like a tuning fork in her environment. The world and the people around her are different because she is there.

During the Thanksgiving holidays, with friends or by yourself, take time to reflect on the fruitfulness of your life. What crossroads have you faced? What wisdom have you gained? What do you still have to let go of to become current, to be lighter and clearer in your being? How can you live from your soul, like a tuning fork, with love flowing through you? In a sacred space in your home place images or symbols representing the harvest of your life. Celebrate your fullness and fruitfulness as a Crone!

A Crone's Journey and Ritual
Pat Cane

"What is a crone?" I am often asked by women young and old. I like best the definition given by Jungian psychologist Marian Woodman A crone is a wise woman who through pain and suffering has come to a crossroads in her life and has chosen to live with love and compassion.

I work with many women nationally and internationally who are challenged by this crossroads, bewildered and questioning what steps to take. More and more 50+ women in the United States and in other cultures are awakening to a new found energy and potential, PMZ, Post menopausal zest, as Margaret Mead called it. At the same time they have to deal with ageism and sexism in their society, while searching for knowledge and support in their awakening. Often they talk about moving into new territory where they must trust their own inner guidance. The legacy of their mothers, grandmothers, and ancestors no longer fits, and they must now discover whole new ways of being and becoming in their later years.

In my own life I have learned a lot about the process of awakening to my own unique power and being, as well as the cost of this empowerment. And what I have learned for myself I try to share with other women through Capacitar body-mind-spirit workshops and crone groups inspiring them to claim the unique gift that only they have to give.

Several years ago at age 56 I decided to have a "crone ceremony" of my own to mark a time of passage in my life. Truly this was a time of passage for me. My husband of twenty years had decided to separate and later to divorce me. I had grown too much on my own and was no longer the partner he had married. I felt many mixed emotions as I sent out my crone invitation to a large group of friends, This would be the last time I would have a celebration in the home I had helped build and create. Three weeks after the ceremony I would move to a new home and a completely new life.

Several close friends helped plan my ceremony. I wanted to celebrate my life and passage, and at the same time I wanted to challenge and inspire my friends to celebrate their own lives and take on their own awakening process.

On a cold January afternoon, sixty friends from age four to eighty-four gathered with me. Most had not yet heard of my impending divorce, so I decided to announce this with love and compassion as the ceremony started. How could I hide this truth from my friends at such a poignant moment. The shock of this announcement was palpable, as one announces the death of a loved one. In many ways this was a kind of death for me, but with the portent of resurrection and new life.

The ceremony was beautiful, led by Mary, who had known me for over fifty years. The first part of the ceremony recounted my history and called for stories from those who had known me through childhood, youth or later adulthood. Laughter, tears, and applause punctuated funny and sometimes embarrassing accounts of my life. I was even surprised by a few of my friend's renditions. I didn't know I had done that!

Then the ceremony became more solemn the time of passage and re-commitment. I was taken aside and dressed with new clothing, a symbol of shedding the old and walking a path into new life. A crown of various herbs woven by Alice, Jean and Joanne was placed upon my head roses for love, lavender for blessings, eucalyptus for healing, rosemary for strength and fidelity to my journey. Diane robed me with a red cloak of responsibility, woven by women of Chiapas, where I had recently worked. Joan lit and handed me a candle, symbol of the wisdom and love of friends that would enlighten my journey home. With joy and gratitude, I committed myself to live fully from my heart, healing and transforming myself and my world.

Margaret then led a spiral Dance of Life, with a long line of friends weaving and snaking around me. As faces of all ages passed by me, like in a dream I recalled many moments of growth. The spiral of women swayed with me, dancing the joys, sorrows and changes of my life. With each step they affirmed and celebrated me, giving me strength and support for the journey. As the spiral fanned out to re-form a circle, Mary then invited the group to voice their prayers and desires for me as well as place a candle symbolizing their own commitment in a ceramic pot in the center. One by one the women gave their blessings and voiced hopes for their own lives as well. At one point a small voice could be heard in the hushed solemnity. "Mama, what is a Crone? Can I be that, too?" asked a four-year old girl, as she lit her candle of blessing, breaking the ritual silence. As her mother tried to quiet her, I imagined the remarkable times this child would live to see in the 21st Century. I hoped that she, too, would discover her unique way, unfolding the gift of her being. What life skills would she need as she faced her journey as maiden, mother and crone? And I saw her held, encouraged and guided by grace and light each step of the way, as I have truly been.

What has brought me to this moment and passage of life as a crone? What grace has led me to recognize my unique gift and calling? How have I learned to navigate the challenges of life transforming pain into wisdom? And what is still ahead for me what surprises, what struggles, what transformations?

Within two years of my crone ceremony everything in my life had completely changed. Divorce like an earthquake broke me open. Life changes moved me onward and taught me to live with choice and attention. I learned how to be more fully present in each moment and with eyes of compassion to see the pain and the joy as one. I am better able to understand the process, as well as the cost of empowerment. And I now speak from the wisdom of experience as I encourage other women to remember and claim their deepest beings and to do what they are called to do in this lifetime. And I can truly say: Life has never been better because I am following the journey of my heart.

A Crone's Dream - The Spiritual Journey
Pat Cane

Recently I had a humorous dream that symbolizes the process of my own journey as a crone.

In my dream I stand at a window looking down on the activity below. The street is filled with a long May procession, people of all ages dressed up and ready to march. Near the front of the procession is an old white truck, brightly decorated as a May shrine, with flowers and banners surrounding a statue of Mary, the Blessed Mother. The band starts playing a solemn hymn and the people process down the street singing, followed by the truck with its colorful float. Suddenly out of the blue, the truck takes a sharp turn to the left onto a side street away from the procession, going merrily on its own way. In surprise and consternation the people look on as the truck runs over a fire hydrant, breaking it open, water gushing freely in all directions. I awaken with a smile as the truck and shrine are trying to back off the hydrant, while a fountain of water streams forth in delight.

Often as women when we reach our 50s or 60s we realize that something is missing in our lives. All the pieces are perfectly in place, yet the spark of passion and surprise are not there for us any more. The procession, as it were, is solemn and orderly, yet we feel caught in it all. As a product of our religious and social conditioning and training, we don't think we have the skills or the resources for our spiritual journey. We feel a hunger and an urgency to go deeper into Life before we die, yet don't quite know how to do that. One woman in a Capacitar Crone group recently quipped: "This is my last 50 years and I want to do it right!"

Suddenly, as if by surprise "the old truck takes a left turn", a personal crisis or life change breaks in on our routine, cracking us open to possibility. Under the ordinary everyday things like a fire hydrant, hides a fountain of living water that springs forth in delight. We discover that all along we had within ourselves the stream of Wisdom and Spirit. But the living water is hidden. And our task is to learn how to clear the way, to transform the pain of the past, to listen and see, to better access and trust this Wisdom, this Spirit, this higher Self.

"Elderhood is a time of unparalleled inner growth having evolutionary significance in this era of world-wide cultural transformation. It is a call from the future, a journey for the health and survival of our ailing planet Earth." Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

I envisioned finishing my dream with the image of the solemn procession breaking rank and joyfully playing in the fountain of water. Each of our choices to break through the deadness of life advances the healing and growth for all generations on our planet.

The Meeting of Crones: USA and Honduras
Carol Bialock, RSCJ and Marta Bernhard
from Trauma Healing and Transformation, Chapter 5, pg. 190

Honduran Marta Bernhard, concerned with the situation of older women in her country, invited 70-year old Carol Bialock RSCJ, to come and work with her. Marta and Carol visited the grandmothers and called together a circle of "crones", women of wisdom and age, who in spite of ill health and bent bodies had to work to stay alive and support their families. Within the circle these tired broken women, told their stories, supporting and nourishing each other. In the process of ritual and dance they discovered who they truly are as women of wisdom. Carol wrote: "I like to think of the grandmothers as bread and perfume, who feed the body and nourish the spirit. Together we built an altar to honor the valiant women who have gone before us as models. We spoke the names of our mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers. We lit candles, sang, and gave blessings, with seeds in our hands, for seeds are the symbol of the crone, the way life continues. And through it all we danced, some with a hobble and a limp, but we danced!"

Quotes For The Crone

From Marian Woodman, Jungian Psychologist
"The crone is the woman who has faced crossroads in her life and has chosen to live with acceptance and love, rather than closing down with resentment. She has expanded into life, losing the ego drive and opening to the full energy of the unconscious. She is a surrendered instrument, living out of her soul. She is an instrument through which the god and goddess energy moves. She comes from love, rather than from ego power. The dark side of the crone is power, because she has intuitive powers that can give her control of other people if she wants to use them that way. The other side of the crone is the love flowing through her that is an immense healing presence. She has a very finely developed masculinity. A highly developed discrimination, discernment, capacity to act. She is like a tuning fork in an environment. Because of who she is, her environment is different because she is there."

A Course in Miracles, Foundation for Inner Peace, Viking, pg. 83
"How can you who are so holy suffer? All your past except its beauty is gone, and nothing is left but a blessing. I have saved all your kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. I have purified them of the errors that hid their light, and kept them for you in their own perfect radiance. They are beyond destruction and beyond guild. They came from the Holy Spirit within you, and we know what God creates is eternal. You can indeed depart in peace because I have loved you as I loved myself. Go with my blessing and for my blessing. I place the peace of God in your heart and in your hands, to hold and share. The heart is pure to hold it and the hands are strong to give it. We cannot lose. My judgment is as strong as the wisdom of God, in whose Heart and Hands we have our being."

Patricia Hopkins, Sherry Rochester, The Feminine Face of God
"You will be teachers for each other. You will come together in circles and speak your truth to each other. The time has come for women to accept their spiritual responsibility for our planet." "Will you help us?" I asked the assembled patriarchs. "We are your brothers," they answered. . ."We no longer know the way. Our ways do not work anymore. You women must find a new way."

China Galland The Bond Between Women: A Journey to Fierce Compassion
"There is a goodness, a wisdom that arises, sometimes awkwardly, sometimes fiercely, but it will arise to save us if we let it, and it arises from within us, like the force that drives green shoots to break the winter ground, it will arise and drive us into a great blossoming like a pear tree, into flowering, into fragrance, fruit and song, into the wild wind dancing, sun shimmering, into the aliveness of it all, into that part of ourselves that can never be defiled, defeated or destroyed, but that comes back to life, time and time again, that lives - always - that does not die. Into the Divine."

Hallie Iglehart Austen, The Heart of the Goddess
If you focus enough on the Goddess, it is almost as if she begins to notice you and takes you under her wing. She gradually begins to reveal herself in all her complexity, and sometimes in unexpected ways…Let her come into your meditations, your dreams, your work and the faces of people around you. You will begin to recognize her in your life and become fertile soil for her to grow in. Give her plenty of water, light and food, and you will find yourself transformed by what grows inside you. You will have become the Goddess!

Ann Valliant, I am Woman
I am daughter, sister, mother in thousands of generations of women.
Women whose skills created peaceful and bountiful civilizations,
women who preserved remnants of our knowledge when the civilizations passed.
I am a woman. In me lives the knowledge and experience of all beings.
I can use that knowledge and experience to create a loving spontaneous world…
I am a woman, a part of and the whole of the first circle, the circle that
transcends space and time, the circle of women joined.
I am a woman, a human being of extraordinary strength, wisdom and grace.
And this is true.

Derek Walcott
The time will come when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving at your own door,
in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other's welcome.…
You will love again the stranger who was yourself…
Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger
who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another…
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf…
peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life!

Nelson Mandela
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.

Lauren Artress, Walking a Sacred Path.
We long to know ourselves deeply, to know
the place in which we can discover the Divine.
We long to temper and hone our gifts,
to put them in action in our world.
When we allow ourselves to be whole,
we allow new visions to emerge within us
and within our cultures

Anonymous
When I die if you need to weep cry for your
brother or sister walking the street beside you.
And when you need me, put your arms around anyone
and give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something,
something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known or loved.
And if you cannot give me away,
at least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind.
You can love me most by letting hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies, and
by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn't die, people do. So when all that's left of me is love, give me away!

Joanna Macy, World as Lover, World as Self
As we work in compassion to heal the Earth, the Earth heals us. No need to wait. As we care enough to take risks, we loosen the grip of ego and begin to come home to our true nature. The world itself, if we are bold enough to love it, acts through us. It does not ask us to be pure or perfect, but only to care, to harness the sweet, pure intention of our deepest passions and to 'fly' like a bodhisattva!

Ann Valliant
I am daughter, sister, mother in thousands of generations of women, whose skills created peaceful and bountiful civilizations, who preserved remnants of our knowledge when the civilizations passed… I am a women of extraordinary strength, wisdom and grace…

Carol Bialock RSCJ
The mother drum is like a bird in flight, leading the flock.
She calls on our ancestors and elders to be present,
and future generations as well. The drum beat is the beat of the
earth-mother's heart… We are led back in time when our ancestors felt
their way into wisdom together by simply keeping the beat…

NGO World Forum on Women
We are women poised on the edge of the
new millennium. We are the majority of our species,
yet we have dwelt in the shadows.
We are the invisible, the illiterate,
the laborers, the refugees, the poor.
And we vow: No more!
We are the women who wear broken bones, voices, minds, hearts
—but we are the women who dare whisper: No.
We are each precious, unique, necessary.
We are the daughters of longing.
We are the mothers in labor to birth
the politics of the new millennium…

Twelve Warning Signs of Health and Wholeness— Whole Earth Review

1. Regular flare-ups of a supportive network of friends and family.
2. Chronic positive expectations.
3. Repeated episodes of gratitude and generosity.
4. Increased appetite for physical activity.
5. Marked tendency to identify and express feelings.
6. Compulsion to contribute to society.
7. Lingering sensitivity to the feelings of others.
8. Habitual behavior related to seeking new challenges.
9. Craving for peak experiences.
10. Tendency to adapt to changing conditions.
11. Feelings of spiritual involvement.
12. Persistent sense of humor.